How's Your Father

"How's Your Father" is the twelfth episode of the first season of Mind Your Language. It was first broadcast on St. Patrick's Day (17th of March) 1978.

Plot
The episode starts with Mr. Brown settling an argument between the EFL students. There's a little over a week until the Lower Cambridge exams, so Mr. Brown asks each student to answer a question about a given subject. When Mr. Brown asks Taro a question about his childhood, he reveals that his childhood was very lonely because his parents were killed when he was young.

Mr. Brown is able to sympathise with Taro, leading the students to ask if he also lost his parents. He tells them he was left at an orphanage on Jeremy Street (from which he got his name) on an Easter Monday when he was a baby, and the students suggest they can all be "one big, happy family" to give him a sense of belonging. Mr. Brown gives them a tea break and heads to The Red Lion, a pub across the street from the school, to get a drink, but the students go there as well.

Upon hearing that Sid put a baby up for adoption on Jeremy Street, Mr. Brown starts to wonder if he is Sid's son. He shares his theory with Miss Courtney, who convinces him to talk it over with Sid privately. Mr. Brown meets with Sid and his girlfriend at The Red Lion and offers to pay for their wedding, afraid that he is illegitimate. However, as he asks Sid and Lil about the baby they put up for adoption, he confirms that there's no possible way he could be their child: the baby they left at the orphanage was a girl.

Quotes
Giovanni: (About Juan.) He's-a make-a fun of Santa Maria.

Mr. Brown: Santa Maria? The Virgin Mary?

Giovanni: No, Luigi Santa Maria, the Italian footballer.

Mr. Brown: In just over a week, you'll take your examinations, and I don't think you're quite ready at all.

Ali: Eh, squeeze please? You are committing a mistake.

Mr. Brown: No, I'm not. You may have mastered a few verbs, but you speak English atrociously.

Max: All we need is a little electrocution.

(Max has been asked to talk for a minute on British birds.)

Mr. Brown: Max! A minute, please, on British birds.

Max: I like British birds, especially blondes.

(The class is laughing.)

Mr. Brown: Quiet! That is not very funny, Max.

Max: Sorry. Every day in the garden of my lodging-house I have many birds. Blacky birds, cocky-sparrows and sometimes a blue breast.

Mr. Brown: Tit. A blue tit.

Max: OK. Yesterday I see a red robin tit.

Mr. Brown: That's a robin red breast.

Max: OK, British birds, much confusing.

Mr. Brown: I know it's difficult, Giovanni, but try to speak for one minute without bringing girls into your conversation.

Giovanni: Okay. I've got two other hobbies. The first hobby is making the wine.

Mr. Brown: What's the second hobby?

Giovanni: Drinking it. After I drink it, I do my third hobby. But you don't let me talk about that.

(The whole class laughs.)

Giovanni: My friend Vincenzo, his hobby is pinching.

Mr. Brown: What? You mean he's a thief?

Giovanni: No, not a thief.

Mr. Brown: Well, you said his hobby was pinching. What does he pinch?

Giovanni: You don't let me talk about that either.

Trivia

 * This is the first time the interior of The Red Lion is seen.