Hello Sailor

"Hello Sailor" is the tenth episode of the first season of Mind Your Language. It was first broadcast on the 3rd of March 1978.

Plot
Juan Cervantes has brought his Russian Navy friend Boris, a defector, to school. He hides him in the canteen and asks Gladys to take care of him. In class, Mr. Brown asks the students to give him words beginning with each letter of the alphabet, but Gladys interrupts to inform him that Miss Courtney wants to see him and also inform Juan to come over as she found Boris. Boris won't tell Miss Courtney who he is or what he's doing there, so she gets Mr. Brown to talk to him instead. Juan approaches them and tells Mr. Brown that Boris wants to stay in England, then takes him to the classroom.

Mr. Brown introduces Boris to the other students and tells them he plans on staying in England, in response to which they accuse the Russian of being a spy, a double agent and a traitor. Mr. Brown then asks him why he wants to stay in England and finds out that he had fallen in love with an English woman at Juan's bar the previous night. His commanding officer Captain Ivan Ivanovich later arrives and wants to take Boris back. Mr. Brown tells him that he can't because Boris wants an English wife, but Ivan tells him that he already has a Russian wife named Anastasia. Mr. Brown helps Ivan bring Boris back to the ship, but Ivan comes back because he has fallen in love with Miss Courtney.

Quotes
Mr. Brown: Now Max, the correct form of address to a Cardinal is not Westminster Cathedral.

Max: I didn't know he moved.

Mr. Brown: Anna, c.

Anna: Red.

Mr. Brown: Red? What's that got to do with c?

Anna: Red Sea.

Mr. Brown: You keep dropping your aspirates.

(Giovanni looks at his pants.)

Giovanni: I not drop nothing.

Mr. Brown: Ranjeet, s?

Ranjeet: Eskimo.

Mr. Brown: Eskimo begins with an e.

Ranjeet: A thousand apologies.

Mr. Brown: Think of a word that describes you.

Ali: Stupid.

Giovanni: Now, what is a name for a group of cows?

Juan: I don't know.

Giovanni: A herd of cows.

Juan: Por favor?

Giovanni: Herd of cows.

Juan: Sure, I heard of cows.

Giovanni: Santa Maria! A herd of cows is a lot of cows!

Juan: He he he, and you speak a lot of bulls.