Don't Forget the Driver

"Don't Forget the Driver" is the fifth episode of the second season of Mind Your Language. It was first broadcast on the 4th of November 1978.

Plot
Ali and Ranjeet are fighting over religious differences once again. In the middle of Mr. Brown's lesson, Miss Courtney invites his class to come on a Sunday coach trip to Barclay Hall that Mrs. Hunter, the school's history teacher, has planned. Only one of the coaches Mrs. Hunter ordered shows up, so she and her group take that one and Miss Courtney waits with Mr. Brown and his students for Sid to borrow a coach from his brother-in-law. In the meantime, the students buy some tins of beer for the trip. One of the coach's tyres goes flat when Sid arrives at the school, so while Mr. Brown and his students wait for him to replace it, they draw lots to determine who will sit next to whom on the coach.

Mr. Brown is in charge of navigation for the group once the trip begins, but he has trouble reading the map because of the bumpy ride. They get lost and run out of petrol on a country road, so they drink some beer and play I Spy to pass the time. Sid gets some petrol from a nearby farmhouse and fuels up the coach, and they make it to Barclay Hall without any further delays. However, the hall is closed for the day by the time they arrive, and the Earl of Barclay rudely sends them away. They get lost again on their way back to the school, and Miss Courtney, Mr. Brown and Sid have no idea where they are until Ali finds their old beer tins, proving they're back where they were before. Sid knows the way back from there, but the coach gets another flat tyre, and everyone piles back into it as a storm moves in.

Quotes
(Mr. Brown tells Ali to shake hands with Ranjeet.)

Ali: But, he is the one who started it, isn't he? I'm only giving him titty for tatty.

Mr. Brown: Yeah, well I...tit for tat.

Ali: Yes please.

(Mr. Brown has corrected Ali after he spelled "chemist" incorrectly.)

Ali: Ah, now I am understanding: ch is k.

Mr. Brown: Yes.

Ali: Oh blimey! Then last night, I'm eating a sandwik with keese and kutney.

(Mr. Brown is telling Juan the meaning of "colloquial".)

Mr. Brown: It's another word for slang.

Juan: Por favor?

Mr. Brown: Slang.

Juan: Ah, like a broken arm.

Mr. Brown: Broken arm?

Juan: Sí, when you break an arm, you put it in the slang.

Mr. Brown: No, that's a sling.

Mr. Brown: (Picks up Zoltan's book.) What is this?

Zoltan: Window.

Mr. Brown: Book. (Points at a window.) What is that?

Zoltan: Door.

Mr. Brown: Window. (Points at the door.)

Zoltan: Door.

Mr. Brown: Good.

(Miss Courtney enters the classroom.)

Zoltan: Crumpet. (Points at Miss Courtney.)

Mr. Brown: Right. Now, as we've some time to wait for the puncture, and in order to avoid any further arguments, we will draw lots.

Su-Lee: Rots of what?

(Mr. Brown has drawn Max's name.)

Max: If the next one is Giovanni, I'm not going!

(Mr. Brown draws another name.)

Mr. Brown: Anna.

Max: On second thought, I'd rather have Giovanni.

Anna: You are very rude! (Hits Max in the chest.)

Max: I am only joking. When we get on coach, you and me, we sit at the back, h'okay?

Anna: We sit in the front and no funny business. (Hits Max in the back of the head.)

Ranjeet: We are most definitely lost.

Mr. Brown: We are not lost; we're just not where we should be.

Miss Courtney: Well, perhaps you could show us where we should be.

Mr. Brown: Well, I know where we should be; I just don't know where we are.

Ranjeet: I am spying with my little eye...something beginning with n.

Mr. Brown: N. Everyone?

Ingrid: Nose?

Ranjeet: No.

Danielle: Nettle!

Ranjeet: No!

Taro: Nest-o.

Ranjeet: No.

Giovanni: Neck.

Ranjeet: No.

Juan: (Points to his head.) Ned.

Ranjeet: No.

Anna: Nail.

Ranjeet: No.

Ali: Knitting.

Ranjeet: You are being stupid. Knitting is not starting with a n.

Mr. Brown: Well done, Ranjeet! Right, we give up. Now you tell us: what is it that begins with n?

Ranjeet: Engine!

Trivia

 * This episode was not included on the home video release.